Why does God want to take all the fun out of sex?

This weekend in church was possibly the most shocking & most freeing message I've heard Pete give. Especially with where I am in my relationship with Dusty-Jesus exposed some places in me of fears & mindsets; things I was believing that were not true.

I realized that even though I would like to think that come marriage, I would have fun with my sex life, I was still living in the straight & narrow. God gives us guide rails to help guide us and protect us, but within those barriers, there is so much freedom when you're married. I've been stuck on a single lane country road when God wants me to drive on a 20-lane highway when I'm married.

For example, I didn't know oral sex was OK and a gift from God in marriage. Same with toys & phone sex, etc. Turns out, God wants us to have LOTS of fun having sex. He wants us to experiment and laugh together trying. And husbands want their wives to get dirty!

After this weekend, I'm looking forward to marriage that much more. Until then, I want to stay pure & let Jesus keep doing His work in me, readying me for what's to come.

My Stomach is in knots...

My stomach is in knots, of excitement & nervousness for what Jesus has for me next. I got to meet tonight with some great people, & Jesus is sharpening my vision for what He has next for me. He's allowing me to feel the weight of what I am being entrusted with, & it's bigger than the credit I've been giving it. I am a leader. He is going to stretch me in ways I've never been stretched & grow me like never before. All I have to do is say yes. & some no's. But always yes to Him.

I can't wait.

It's starting to feel a lot like Fall

This morning, I stepped outside & felt the chill of the sweet September air.
I can't believe it's already September. Time seems to rush by these days. I do look forward to the brisk weather: time to wear light jackets & scarves & walk through the red, orange & yellow leaves that layer the ground. My absolute favorite time of year!

Only 4 days left until Fall Kick-off & 5 days left until QPZA '09. It's approaching so quickly. The new building looks insane...I can't believe I've been a part of this church & have watched it grow from 2000-now. From the teeny auditorium at Dennis Drive to an auditorium with a HUGE screen & seating for 2,400 people. It's insane.

And I'll be assistant producing the weekends...sitting up front holding a white board helping with transitions-a role that I'm only now starting to feel the weight of & understand it's importance. I'm kind of in awe that I'm being trusted with this.

And on top of that, I get to say yes to being on the core lead team for Fused, leading the production...which is basically Wednesday night youth services. I'll be leading people...like our worship leader & tech leader. It's wild to me what Brad sees in me & sees Jesus doing in me. When I can't see it myself, it's neat to hear it from someone else. Even when I'm not choosing great, I'm shown grace & love.

It feels like this fall is a huge jump all over the place. Dusty said yes to stage managing on the weekends...which could mean we don't ever get to sit in a service together. That makes me a little sad, but Jesus knows just what He's doing. And I love that Dusty is getting to serve in this role...that makes me very happy!

It's still hard seeing couples all around me getting engaged & married, and hearing from Dusty that it feels like our relationship has hit a plateau; is stagnant. Why aren't we growing? I guess that's a question we both need to ask Jesus.

Anyway. Here's to Fall.

2 days

Until Leadership Retreat!

Only 18 days left until the opening of the new building, & 19 days left until QPZA!

There is still so much to get done! I'm still feeling like I don't have a grip on my role as Logistics Administrator. I really need to step it up & own what I get to do. Things are getting down to the wire.

Anyway, the lease on our townhouse is up in just two weeks. After praying about a few different places, nothing seemed to really feel right. So I'm moving back home to Dad's house. I'll have my own room & be close enough to campus that I can ride my bike. I'm excited, and at the same time, I'm sad that my potentially last year single, I will not get to spend living with friends. Even though I know Meagan was right last night when she said I'm not being abandoned, in some ways, I still feel like I am.

I do hope that Jesus uses this to pursue my dad & Fran even harder. I do love that Dusty will come hang out & get to be around my dad more often.

Oh, & I want to open a youth center here in Lexington....where local bands can play & artists can display their work. We can have a coffee shop & it can be a form of outreach to the thousands of youth in this city. Yes. One day, I think Jesus will say 'Go for it'.

Where you go I go...

I am in awe of this weekend...

Vision weekend at church was amazing. I got to assistant produce & my heart is still feeling the impact of yesterday. I'm still letting it sink in. Jesus is pursuing the city of Lexington like never before...

The picture of the rocks was unforgettable: 24 people a day coming to Christ, but 150,000 people a day dying...hearing the sound of the huge pile of rocks being shoveled back into the wheelbarrow at first was really loud & I wanted it to get quiet, but then Amber said, "listen...just think of that as the sound of rescue" and my eyes welled with tears. That's where God wants us. That's where He's calling us-to pick up the shovel. To go into the middle of the dead pile & personally help move each one into freedom. What if one day, that 150,000 was the number of people coming to know Christ each day!

Our church is being challenged to step it up; to risk in ways that have scared us before. We saw a picture of 10 pastors from India who are a part of our church. They are risking their lives for the cause of Christ, starting churches in a broken world to help show people real life. I want to be that courageous. 

'Nice & sweet didn't save us. Nice & sweet won't change the world'

Not only was God speaking to Quest this message, but He was obviously speaking it to Southland, too....

I was in awe after watching Southland's message from this weekend, their launching of IT. Jon Weece was so courageous. He stepped up in front of 10,000 and told them that though he had been the pastor there for years, he only now gave his life to Christ. He revealed that their church is completely re-vamping. It is a new church, with a new mission. INSANE! And amazing. My heart is going crazy thinking what this means for the city of Lexington...let our local Church come together with one mission & one Truth...and we can make a HUGE impact on eternity. 

I can't wait to see where Jesus takes our Church....let's be bold & fearless together. 

http://www.questcommunity.com

http://www.southlandchristian.org

Photoshop

So today, I just want to play in Photoshop.

Meet Angela & Grant. I took engagement photos for them at the beginning of the year.

Tick-Tock....Tick-Tock...

This day seems to be going so S-L-O-W

Vacay was lots of fun-filled relaxing on the beach & watching movies.
I have to say, though, I can't wait to be able to go on vacation with my love. :-)
Hopefully next year...

I really just can't wait to be engaged to him. I want to start planning our wedding and our life together. I want to shop for a wedding dress and keep it a surprise. Even more of my friends have become engaged in the last week, & the weddings have begun. It's making me excited and impatient.

He has said we'll be married in under 2 years...how about under 1?

It's been 2 months since he told me I could look at rings...when are we going to look at them together?

I'll just have to wait & see...