One more

And another one.

Just found out that yet another couple got engaged this weekend.

Jesus did some great work in my heart the other week, showing me where I had shifted my hope from him & placed expectations on D that he never knew about & that were never meant to be placed on him. We got to have a great conversation & it has felt much more free since then...

I just realized though, that my initial reaction is still comparison & disappointment when I hear of other engagements. I justify them as being 'OK' if the couple has been together longer than me & D or if the couple is considerably older than us...otherwise, it's frustration or disappointment.

I know God has a beautiful plan and only wants to lavish me & D with it...I believe it. I know there must be some work He wants to do in each of us before presenting us with the gift of marriage...the waiting time is just hard when it's smacked in your face all the freaking time.

So, Lord, please help steady my heart in this area. I want to be trusting you so firmly that my only reaction for other couples you call into marriage before me & D is excitement & congratulations, in just the same way your heart is for them.

Onslaught

This past weekend was the FUSED Onslaught Spring Retreat...it felt so different from past retreats. I got to produce with Penny & lead my senior girls in small group. That was a big gift to get to be with them again.

Retreat was a lot of fun & 12 kids came home new! Joanna & I got to lead a girl named Rachel, who we have been talking to for weeks...It was so gorgeous getting to watch her courageously give Jesus her heart & choose to trust Him. She was beaming when she finished praying...absolutely stunning.

On the way to retreat, I got a phone call asking me to pray about stepping into leading a lifegroup. I am still pretty stunned by the fact that I got an ask like that. I got to ask Jesus about it on retreat...didn't hear super clear yes or no, but my feeling is that I'm not quite ready for it just yet. I still have a lot of learning to do before saying yes to a huge entrustment like that. It's crazy that Jesus & people see me as someone with that potential though...

Anyway, it's officially SPRING! I'm ready to get out & take pictures. If only this weather would warm up!

March showers...

Spring is almost here...and summer is approaching too!

Britton finally popped the question this weekend & he & Liz are engaged! I am SO excited for these two friends I love so much! They have been so faithful & trusting of Jesus and His plans, and I have been praying that their engagement & wedding are just a lavish picture of His love for them. I was blown away last night when Liz told me she would love to have me stand by her side as she marries Britton in just a few short months...blown away. I love that girl and I am so happy for her! Now I get to help her get ready for her big day! AH!

As for my own, I still have absolutely no clue when it would be...whether it's going to be this year or next. I just looked over my vacation days & it looks like I will have to miss some really fun stuff this year :( I might have to miss the high school road trip again, and I'm pretty sure I have to miss Women's Retreat. I just don't have enough vacation days & I can't take any unpaid vacation days, which stinks. Especially if D is thinking of us getting married this year, that would mean a postponed honeymoon. Oh well, I guess I don't need to be worrying about it until the time comes...

Speaking of D-Jesus has been SO faithful & has just been giving gifts all over the place. Last week he kind of threw a Jeep right in D's lap, and he now is driving a car he wanted & he didn't have to pay a dime. Crazy. Then, D got a job offer from a guy we serve with in Fused, followed by 3 openings at Lexmark that he got to apply for. I pray Jesus shows him just where to go & opens the door for him to jump. It feels like he's getting a call-up into adulthood or something...like, realizing it's time to step out of the 'student' position & into the real world with responsibility.

I got to teach LG for the first time (w/Merda there) last night...it made me want to vomit a little. I don't know if I would like leading a LG...it's hard!

And last, I am DYING to get out & shoot some pictures! I spent some time reading up on digital photography to really know how to use my camera...not just play until I get a good picture. I want to be knowlegeable of what I'm doing & grow my skills. I think I have an eye for it, but I need to know the technicals too. I would still love to be a professional photographer...maybe one day.

WTH

What the heck?

So I'm hearing Jesus' voice more clearly than ever...I get to be an apprentice in Accelerate this year, and Matt Garner is my Accelerator! Crazy & strange, but it will be great. I got to meet with him Saturday & lay down some offenses & let him know that I choose to follow him & trust him. I can't wait to see what this year holds & what I look like by the end of it...

Tonight in Fused we are splitting again, middle school from high school. I get to step into the role of the producer, which means I am no longer the senior girls' small group leader. It makes me sad to leave them but Jesus lavished me this weekend...I got to see my investment in that group overflow as I watched Ashlea McIllwain, Courtney Harris & Amy Thornberry all give their lives to Jesus! What in the world!?! What a way to step out & into a new spot.

I'm so freaking excited to see what the Lord has in store for FUSED...I think the ministry will just explode once we get going with the split. We'll have more room for students & I think the kids will love being around people their age instead of being mixed.

Here we go!