ohhhh Caribbean

Tonight is party time at Katie's.
Tomorrow Dusty & I are heading to the Gorge.
Then it's Reverb graduation.
Sunday is his graduation party.
Ichthus & Dusty's birthday is in 2 weeks. (I really want to lead someone to Jesus!)
Tailgating Baptism is the following Wednesday.
Then it's CRUISE TIME!!!
That's right. Caribbean.
In 3 weeks, I will be boarding a cruise ship with some amazing ladies...soaking up the rays & enjoying a vacation.
How amazing is that?
I can't wait.

In the Office again

Turns out, this last weekend I got a bit of a mini-vacation!
I had a 4.5 day weekend! A-mazing.
I had been sick all week, so my boss let me take off 1/2 day Thursday & all day Friday.
Then it was time for Breathe Retreat...

I got to lead the Media team for retreat...leading the people instead of the tasks. It was different, and hard, and gorgeous.

I led Laura in coming to retreat...there were so many obstacles in the way of her even making it, and Jesus really wanted her there! He made it so that she could come & have a great weekend with Him.

Brenda gave her life to Christ after watching a video of a waterfall behind Becky's performance song.

Jerner's mom was stirred up after a convo with Lorelei.

I am 'known'
I want to be like the woman at the well...running back to the villages to tell everyone, 'come meet the man who told me everything I ever did!'

What if I am meant to lead people?

All of these things are great take-aways from women's retreat '09. I can't wait for next year's retreat, & I hope Fran comes with me.
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Whitney says I've been 'nesting' recently-cleaning all the time, cooking, making recipe books...I really just can't wait to have my own home, without girl roommates (though I love mine dearly). I just look forward to living in my own house with Dusty...and those wishes of cute new furniture & appliances have to be put on hold until that time comes for us. I can't wait!
Speaking of...I'll be meeting with Ginny Riensche soon to talk about fears, etc. of marriage. Hopefully we'll get all that knocked out of the way so I don't bring any of it into our relationship.
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I can't wait to get to the Gorge this weekend! It's supposed to be almost 80*, and it's just me & Dusty! So much fun!

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Final thought: I need to start saving money. I need to stop eating out as much & start eating at home more often. I buy food & then it goes bad...no more of that! If only I had an amazing fridge to store my own food in... 1 fridge for 5 girls is NOT enough room. hmmm...

Delta Gray 5.10.09

After a long time of suffering and mistreatment, my grandmother is finally feeling peace.

My mom & my grandmother didn't have a great relationship growing up. My grandparents were alcoholics and abusive. My mom grew up taking care of her brothers & sisters when her parents wouldn't. I don't remember much about my grandmother as I was growing up, except for one afternoon in our kitchen when the phone rang and my mom sat at the table crying. It was my grandma Delta, asking my mom to please forgive her for the way she treated her through the years, and saying for the first time my mom could remember, 'I love you'.

Since that day in middle school, I've watched my mom's heart for her mother change. She loved her so much. It was one of the happiest days for my mom to have her mother at her wedding in 2004. After putting makeup on my own mother, I got to put makeup on my grandma and watch her smile as my mom got ready to walk down the aisle.

That's the last time I remember seeing my grandma.

Since then, she has had a number of strokes and has been in a wheelchair, only able to say 'yeah' and 'no'. Talking to her was hard...

She struggled like this for a few years, and was not taken care of well until recently when Hospice came in and took over. With all the crap surrounding my family & the way they treat each other, Grandma was probably fed up. She was helpless.

But last year, a nice man got to spend some time with her and my Grandma asked Jesus into her heart.

She spent years fighting for her life, defying the odds, and Sunday night, she was able to let go. She gets to rest in the arms of the one who made her. She has her voice back. She has her legs back. She has eternal life and I will see her again.

I will get to be friends and know my grandma.

I can't wait.

EEEEK!

So, I've been asking for more...and it's coming.

Last night I was asked to pray about leading the media team for our women's retreat at church... I would be leading the people who are leading photo/video & tech stuff...ideally, I wouldn't have my hands touch anything...I would be leading people.

This is amazing, and scary to me! I have wanted this for a long time, but everything about it makes me want to throw up a bit. I have led tasks well, but I haven't really led people much at all. I think Jesus is calling me into it...and He's going to be the one to get me through it!

Dusty is a freaking LIFE GROUP LEADER now! What in the world?!? He's leading a group of about 15 guys-leading their hearts & being an example of what it means to follow Jesus. He's insane. I remember sitting down with him just 2 years ago and telling him that the man I date needs to be the spiritual leader in our relationship, and at the time, he wasn't...now look at him! I can't believe how much he has grown over the last 2 years. He's not the same man at all.

And now he'll be graduating in just 4 days and out in the real world.
Our parents will be meeting at his graduation...apparently my mom has already talked to his mom on the phone for a good while. Weird!

And last night, Dusty told me I could be thinking about rings & looking at/trying them on! I want to leave work right now and go to all the jewelry stores in town!

Still no clue as to when this engagement will be happening, but I know it is going to happen. :-)

Here are some rings I was just looking at:



Which one is your favorite?

Happy Birthday Frances!

Today is my best friend's birthday!Whitney & I went to lunch with Frances & then the 3 of us got ice cream. YUM. I absolutely love that girl. We went to high school together, but it wasn't until our senior year that we became really good friends. And even though she went to college in Alabama for 4 years & I only got to see her for about 3 weeks out of the year, our relationship didn't fade-it grew. Hundreds of miles apart, we went through hardships and celebrations together. Now I'm lucky to have her back home while she goes through law school and we get our weekly lunch dates. She is such a joy to be around. I just love her a lot and I can't wait to see what Jesus does in her over these next few years.

While Whitney & I were waiting for Frances to pick us up for lunch, we started talking about wedding stuff & what Jesus is doing in my heart. It's pretty great...and I'm just seeing the front end of it...

I have been praying, asking Jesus if Dust is 'the one'....and I have heard a yes from Him. At first it scared me and thoughts would jump into my head like, 'what if i screw up' or 'what if it's too hard' or 'what if he falls out of love with me' or 'what if i'm hearing wrong'? So I went back & asked again....and again, He said 'yes'.

Now, I'm just excited and the thought of marriage doesn't so much scare me as it does make me happy. I still don't know when that time is for us, but it's ok. It feels weird knowing that yes, Dusty & I will get married one day and that is actually a gift from God, not me being selfish or making my own plans...but it will actually be me following Jesus' plans.

And I do find myself thinking of what our wedding will be like...and I'm actually starting to find out who Jesus made me to be in thinking of what kind of things I would like for our wedding. See, for the longest time I was a passive girl who just followed behind people. I let others make decisions and for the past year or so, I've seen how little I know about myself. It's hard for me to answer questions like, 'what is your favorite_____'? I always wanted to have my own taste & my own passion for things-clothes/art/music, etc. like my friends did, but I don't think I believed it would be good enough, so I just took in everything around me.

Now I'm just starting to get to know myself a little bit better....I can't wait to find out who Jesus made me to be! Maybe I'll start posting 'things I like'. hmmm....Yes.

Dream Job

I just want to take pictures.

I sit at my desk for 7 hours a day...reading blogs & looking up photography equipment. All I want to do is quit my job & be a full-time photographer.

Maybe one day I will.

...cont'd

I just walked outside to grab a bite to eat and it is absolutely GORGEOUS! I SO want to get my camera and walk downtown or in a field taking pictures. I am just dying to explore & experiment with my camera. I want to learn how to be a better photographer & be confident in my shooting. I would love to be a wedding & portrait photographer.


I started praying about it on my walk to the Student Center.
It would be really hard if Jesus says this is what I'm supposed to do...but it would be freaking amazing!

I want...

to be selfless.

That's pretty much my goal for the year.
Over the last 3 months, Jesus has been revealing places in me that are so selfish...it's disgusting. I've seen where if things don't go the way I want them to, I get frustrated and I am not at all quick to give grace. I've seen where I am frugal with my money, but don't think about what others sacrifice when they offer to buy me food, etc. I've chosen comparison and desired attention.
I want to be rid of all of that...I want to be more like Jesus.

This year I get the gift of being a part of a leadership group at church...at the beginning, our pastor warned that it would be a hard and very stretching year for anyone who chose to participate. I heard Jesus telling me this was the spot for me right now, so I said yes. I don't think I realized how it could even be as hard as Pete was making it out to be...

Then last night we had our first 'Horizon' meeting...and he started to show me the beginnings of what this year is going to look like. We found out what group of people we are going to be with this year, getting to know each other, growing together and working together on projects. Within the first minute of sitting with my group, I started to cry. Preferences were uncovered that I had no idea were there. It was gross, but great that Jesus would reveal that to me up front so I could get rid of it & make way for everything to come.

I can't wait to see how He changes me this year. It is going to be uber challenging, but it will totally be worth it.