A light in the Darkness

I've been learning a lot this season. A lot about leadership & what it means to just be myself. This weekend was a big smack in the face, but at the same time, Jesus was so faithful and steady.

Truth is, there is so much darkness around us, and in us. But when we bring that darkness out into the light, it loses whatever power it once held. I'm learning what it means to get everything into the light...not just the seemingly big things. To be known and recognize those things about myself & my heart that I have just tended to overlook or try to overcome....Jesus wants us to get those things out. Not so that he can fix us, but so that he can love & lead us through them to freedom.

I pray that when you find yourself in the middle of the darkness, that you'll be exposed. It may hurt & be scary at first, but it's really such a gift to be in the spot where you get to choose now what to do...choose Jesus. Whatever that means. Just choose Him. He is always the best choice.

He exposed to me yesterday places where my heart had started to harden on the subject of engagement...I was turning bitter & hopeless, believing the lie that God has been withholding something great from me. I really do desire to be married, to Dusty. I want him to propose. But I don't want it to be rushed-I really do want it to happen in God's timing. Jesus really does know how to lavish me, and I know that's His plan...so let's see, be lavished, or just get it over with? Hmmm...I choose Jesus.

I can't believe it's already December...it's unreal to me how much I've grown over this past year & I really can't wait for what God has next for me in 2010, and for my family...it feels like He's on the brink of something huge. I can't wait!

Excitement!

I am SO filled with excitement I can't stand it!

• Tonight we start our Fused at the Movies: Christmas Edition series with Joanna teaching about family conflict. I can't wait to hear her teach! Jesus speaks so loud & clearly to her it's insane...
• Next Wed. I get to teach in Fused about greed vs. generosity...Ah! How amazing is that? I can't wait! I need to get started on the teach ASAP.
• D & I just got the OK to take our relationship to the next level...he's joining my family plan on Sprint. I can't wait to go shopping for a new phone for him (and maybe me) and add his new line!
  
• I've officially moved in with Shannah & Mer! I slept in my bed in my new room for the first time last night! yay! I still need to finish decorating & getting all my stuff arranged & go grocery shopping, but I'm so excited!
• Tomorrow my new roomies & I are going to decorate our Christmas tree together! I'll post pictures for sure.
• Friday D. & I are going to Cincinnati for our 2-year anniversary date! I'm taking a 1/2 day at work & we're going to Ikea, H&M, out to eat & to a House of Heroes show! Oh so fun!
  
• Saturday I'm going to a 'Good Sense' workshop at church to learn about how to budget finances in a healthy way...which will give me a great grasp on it leading into combined finances in marriage down the road...
• Next Monday D & I get to go on a double-date with an old friend & her boyfriend! Rach & Doug! I can't wait...they are both absolutely hysterical & wonderful to be around. We haven't been able to hang out with them in a long time, so I'm definitely looking forward to it!

And....it's December! Christmas music has commenced! The tree in Triangle park is lit up & the sleigh in front of Lexington Green is out. Peppermint Mochas are at Starbucks (as well as the red cups) and I bet eggnog ice cream is at Graeters too! Oh how I love this season! I need to go Christmas shopping soon though...or get crafty & make gifts.

Well, it's time to head to church & help get ready for tonight! yippee!

Jesus wants the Rose

I cannot believe the amazing things Jesus is doing...

He's redeeming people & using them as poster children for broken people (Tim & Sandra got engaged last week...redemption story for all to have hope!)

Students are asking for more & stepping into risky territory...

Students are coming home..
Seth-8th grade longshot
Jodie-9th grade good girl
Hannah-I've been asking for her for a year and a half! Holy freaking cow.
& 2 more just last night.

8 College students gave their lives to Christ just this week.

And Ashlea is in process...Goodness am I begging Jesus for that girl! I pray He keeps stirring up her heart & making her desperate for Him! Don't let her think too much & talk herself out of needing you...that girl could very well come home this weekend! AH!

I've started listening to some of NewSpring Community Church's sermons. Beautiful & Don't Get Married Until series....listen to them.

9 days.

Happy

The other day, D. mentioned something about making a list of things that make you happy/are fun to you. So, here's mine.

• Nature (walking/hiking)
• Creative projects
• Puzzles/Board games
• Soccer
• Watching new movies
• Cleaning
• Baking
  
• Makeup
• Taking pictures
• Playing with babies
  

I'll probably be adding to this list as I think of more things that are fun to me/make me happy. For now, I need to figure out a way to do one of these things every day.

What sort of things are fun to you? What makes you happy?

What in the WORLD!

Jesus is doing some crazy amazing stuff...I'm still in awe of the work he's done in just the last week.

• 2 girls in my lifegroup have come out asking for help processing their stories....in-freaking-credible.
• A girl named Caitlin came to our lifegroup last weekend & felt safe enough to share her story, which helped her realize something was off as she was telling us, & then 3 days later, she gave her life to Christ
• A girl in my small group in Fused opened up with me Sunday & let me in, telling me she believes in Jesus but there's this hole where something is missing & she doesn't know what it is. This girl doesn't trust many people & she keeps to herself a lot, so it's very precious to me that she 1. brought it up herself & 2. really shared her heart as she knows it.

My heart is so pumped for what Jesus has started, & I'm begging him to help me be courageous, fearless & dangerous as he entrusts me with more.

Along with all of that, I am in the process of moving in with M. & S. Last night D. & I ordered chinese food & spent a few hours painting my new room. Turns out, we didn't have enough paint, so we will be finishing it tonight. I'm excited to see the finished product & then move my bed & clothes in. Soon I will be living with two great girls, being challenged & held accountable. It'll be fun!

I'll post pictures of the final product asap.

The Red Cups Return

It's that time again...
Starbucks cups are that cheery red color and my yellow coat has been a staple need the past few days. Not to mention, it's NOVEMBER.

I can't believe how quickly time has flown this year. So much has changed and grown in me, and still there is a long way to go before this girl is the woman God made her to be.

Just a few memories from the last week:

• Jenn Ellwood gave her life to Christ

• Whitney Belcher gave her life to Christ

• Stephanie made some great steps following Jesus...boy is she stepping into risk like never before!

• I got to help Annalisa in a convo & be a part of a 15 year old girl, Portia, giving her life to Jesus

I have also decided to move in with Shannah & Meredith...it's a hard yes. If I stay at dad's I could save a chunk of money, but I know that Jesus has more for me living with these girls. SO, I'll be moving in very soon!

Nov.28 is me & Dusty's 2-year. I'll be producing that weekend, as well as the weekend before, so I have no clue when or what we will get to do. Who knows, maybe he'll surprise me with a pretty piece of bling? One can only hope...

Pumpkins & Weddings & Spice Girls, Oh My!

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post...not that a whole lot has happened...

October has undoubtedly been the month for weddings this year. Dusty & I were in, went to, or invited to or shot a wedding each weekend of the month...What in the world? All of them have been very different, but I think we both walked away taking little pieces of each & storing them in our heads for when we get to really plan ours ;)

Speaking of ours, he's been asking me again about engagement length & bridesmaids/groomsmen, etc. Sometimes I think he'll propose before the end of this year, & other times I wonder if it will even happen within this next year? Let's just get this show on the road, I say! I can't wait to start planning & start our life together...

Until then, I'll be moving in with Shannah & Meredith, two of my good friends who will for sure be like iron sharpening iron while I live with them. They are incredible women & leaders...I can't wait to be so up-close learning from them.

Well, that's about all. For now, I leave you with this yummy goodness that I want to make & eat....maybe tonight!

YUM!

Now to work on my Scary Spice costume...